Darren Polsky, a S.N.A.P worker at Marist College, is excited to go home and relax after a tough two hours in the cabaret.

Optimistic reports have been released regarding the construction on the rotunda, showing that it should definitely be completed within our lifetime.

The installment of street signs on the Marist campus has helped administrators remember why they never make decisions while stoned.

Dyson Center- Recent Marist student and “that kid who always left halfway through night class” Don Cristian received dreadful news yesterday after a two year battle with the Marist Criminal Justice Department – he was flunking all of his classes and would be forced to permanently end his quest for a Bachelor’s degree in Criminal…

As construction on the rotunda continues, the majority of Marist faculty and students agree that the campus-wide renovations within the past few years must be preparations for a medieval-style siege. The castle-like architecture and stone facades are ideal for defending against an assault from an enemy nation that still utilizes the feudal system.

Writers from The Dead Fox reportedly really wanted to recommence publishing articles today, but were just a little too hungover from syllabus week to give it their all. Coming off of a quiet summer, Dead Fox writers decided it was time to buckle down and write something that will allow them to stall a bit…

  Hancock 2012 Uninterested non-major students conned into taking a humanities class by their malicious advisors lamented this morning at the sound of Pat Germon’s voice. Germon, who is easily the most annoying member of Dr. Schultz’ Ethics and Morality class, disgusts fellow students with his well-formed and rationally argued ideas which often times relate…

Josh Houston, an accounting major here at Marist College, recently declared that he’s not really doing it for the money. Like all risky careers, Houston is driven by passion, a passion ignited the first time he witnessed a financial statement written right before his eyes.

Students and alumni were overwhelmed with disgust after reading a recently published HuffPost article listing the ten highest paid college presidents in the country. Marist President Dennis Murray rang in at number three, reportedly earning over two million dollars a year for leading an institution “dedicated to helping students develop the intellect, character, and skills …

Upper Fulton 8A Sources with Marist Security confirmed this morning that Sam Robinson, a Junior from Fort Lee New Jersey, has finally gained access to his townhouse after waiting outside for all five weeks of winter break.