The Dead Fox is Literally So Dumb

Like, so everyone’s been talking about this Dead Fox thing, so I checked it out, and like what? The first thing I saw was that Jay-z was running for president, and I was like ummm do your research. I follow him on twitter and he totally would have said something about it by now. Advertisements

Murray Abandons Wealth After Negative Publicity

Students and alumni were overwhelmed with disgust after reading a recently published HuffPost article listing the ten highest paid college presidents in the country. Marist President Dennis Murray rang in at number three, reportedly earning over two million dollars a year for leading an institution “dedicated to helping students develop the intellect, character, and skillsĀ …

Shy, Ugly Kid Gets No Tinder Matches

Jimmy Pacer, a notoriously ugly and timid boy from New Jersey, has received no matches on the popular dating app Tinder. Pacer came to Marist College this year, hoping to change his self-image by becoming less ugly and shy. So far, however, he has had little success and is especially disappointed in his inability to…