Jenna Harrison, a Marist student and self-proclaimed social activist, began her Occupy Dennis Murray campaign yesterday in protest to Murray’s high salary.
“Dennis Murray is single handedly widening the gap between the rich and the poor, and I won’t let that happen,” said Harrison
Harrison realized that her anger over Murray’s salary was a direct indication of her impressive social awareness. Not content to let her moral superiority go to waste, she promptly purchased a tent and some picket signs with her parent’s credit card and prepared to change the world.
Before taking her fight to the streets, Harrison did some investigating. She concluded that Murray’s high salary was directly connected to the quality of the eggs in the cafeteria. “Typical 1 percenter, not sacrificing his personal salary so we could eat real eggs.”
According to Harrison, President Murray’s salary is also responsible for Marist’s lack of a track, corruption in Wall Street, and the $17 trillion debt of the United States government.
When asked about the movement, Murray seemed more curious than concerned, and remains unsure of how exactly Harrison will go about occupying a human being.
“Murray owes every single impoverished person in the United States a piece of his salary, and I’m going to go sit outside in a tent until he does he rights his wrongs,” declared Harrison. “Well, I mean, once it’s warm out and stuff.”
(Image from http://www.marist.edu/about/pres.html)