Smitten Freshman’s Marist Confession Fails to Get the Attention of That Girl In his History Class

Jason Thompson anonymously accepts defeat.

Jason Thompson anonymously accepts defeat.

Marist freshman Jason Thompson continued to not get the attention of That Girl In His History Class today when he posted about her on Marist Confessions. After demonstrating a powerful inability to communicate during a lackluster presentation about imperialism in the Congo, Thompson returned to his seat feeling as ignored as he was yesterday.

Thompson initially declined an interview with our reporters, instead sending an anonymous tip saying that Jason Thompson prefers to remain anonymous. He later anonymously agreed to do the interview when we offered to conduct it with a bag over his head so as to maintain his anonymity.

During the interview, Thompson anonymously expressed his disappointment, and remains unsure how That Girl In His History Class was unable to tell who wrote the confession. “I thought she would recognize my voice,” said Thompson anonymously through a thin layer of brown paper.

Thompson plans on anonymously telling off every girl at Marist with another heartfelt confession later today, and wants the world to know that there is some anonymous guy at Marist who is morally superior to “all these hoes.”

That Girl In His History Class might tell us her side of the story, but no one really knows who the hell she is.

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