What’s Gucci, America: Jay-Z’s Presidential Campaign

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Sean Carter unfurled a banner displaying this message after announcing his intention to run for President of the United States in the 2016 election. Carter, who will be running under his popular stage name Jay-Z, is already a prolific rapper, producer and businessman. After long consideration over running for mayor of New York City, Carter decided to aim higher.

“I like to challenge myself,” said Carter. “After ‘Empire State of Mind’ dropped, I figured my spot as mayor was a lock. That shit was just too easy.”

Carter expressed confidence in his campaign, explaining that his plan to give every campaign speech in verse would connect with young voters. His trump card was not revealed until he finished his announcement, at which point wife Beyonce Knowles took the stage and danced her way through a sexy rendition of “Single Ladies.”

“Let’s just say there’s never been a First Lady with an ass like that,” Carter said of Knowles.

Carter promised sweeping changes upon his election into office. He emphasized the importance of changing the name of the White House to the “Hova Dome” and clearly expressed his interest in creating a new, hip, national anthem called “Crazy in Love (With the U.SA.).”

Fellow rapper Kanye West showed his support for Jay-Z’s campaign during a recent address by President Barack Obama, in which West interrupted the President to give a shout out to his boy. “Imma let you finish, Mr. President,” said West, “but Jay-Z will be one of the best president’s of all time.”

Despite this positive feedback from fellow musical artists, many politicians remain unconvinced that Carter could ever be elected, claiming that he lacks the fundamental knowledge and skills required of the position. Carter has shrugged off this criticism in several interviews, saying that the American people need to know that “haters gon’ hate.”


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