Here are Marist Poll’s findings that you didn’t hear about in the papers:
49% of Marist Students who played flip cup last weekend have Mono.
Apparently we underestimated the lure of a game which inevitably causes the player to make-out with almost every other person playing…as well as the floor.
85% of Marist Students understand what the government is.
While really no one on the Marist Campus knows who represents them in Congress, a surprising amount know who Congress is.
3% of Marist Students understand what the government shutdown is.
Most of us think that the government shutdown means that there are no rules (except that one rule).
100% of the people still getting texts from their first Marist hook-up are regretting ever giving them their number.
Need I say more?
72% of Freshmen know where the Hudson River is.
Scholars think its the body of water adjacent to our Campus, but they also think “Hudson” translates into “Whale’s Vagina”. (Many believe it translates into “Bunghole of Poughkeepsie.”)
60% of Marist Students believe that the Facebook news feed is an adequate source of news.
Studies show a well balanced news intake also includes Twitter, Instagram, and Myspace (how else would we know how KFeds doing?).