URGENT: Shadow Menaces Midrise Residents

Those on floors four and five appear safe, but the hellish mass does appear to be rising.

Those on floors four and five appear safe, but the hellish mass does appear to be rising.

You may have woken up today and thought that it was going to be like any other day…

You were fucking wrong.

Midrise residents adjacent to ongoing construction are currently under shadow siege. Two sugar maples have launched a coordinated offensive with the sun against Midrise floors one through three, which started at around 10:30 a.m.

We’ve been notified by security that their strategy is to “wait it out.” They are confident that the leaves will eventually fall.

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