CSI’s ‘Most Terrifying Case Yet’ Is the Most Terrifying Case Since the Last Most Terrifying Case Yet

Fans across the country eagerly await what ad campaigns have been calling “the most terrifying CSI case yet.” The investigative crime show, now in its 14th season, has frequently held high ratings throughout the years. The title of this upcoming episode, “The One With the Crime That They Solve in An Hour,” has generated a substantial amount of hype. The producers of the show, Anthony Zuiker and Ann Donahue, are pleased with this hype, and are excited to air the episode.

“We really try to raise the bar every season,” says Zuiker. “We’re confident that the fans won’t see it coming when the couple making out in the woods finds the dead body of an expendable actor right before the theme song starts.”

Despite the hype, the show has recently come under scrutiny from critics and fans accusing them of rehashing old ideas. After reading the synopsis for  ‘The One With the Crime That They Solve in An Hour,’  many fans found it to be literally the exact same plot as last week’s episode, ‘The Murderer who Alluded Capture Until the Show’s Time Slot Ran Out.” Donahue described this accusation as a “serious misconception.”

“These accusers clearly aren’t paying attention,” says Donahue. “The murderer last week killed ten hookers. He kills twelve this week. How do they not see the difference?”

CSI has also met some competition from fellow investigative crime show NCIS, which in a recent ad campaign has also claimed to be airing “the most terrifying case yet.” When asked how they planned to deal with the competition, Zuiker claimed he was “unaware that NCIS was a different show.”

“I was under the impression NCIS was just a mistake by the ad team,” says Zuiker. “They aren’t good with letters. It happens.”

CBS executives have expressed their concern that viewers are becoming confused with CSI’s many spinoffs. Alan Smith, an unemployed, self-proclaimed fanboy of the franchise, claims that these spinoffs are not a problem. “When a crazy guy kills a prostitute in Miami, it’s a totally different viewing experience than a crazy guy killing a prostitute in New York.”

Even with the optimism of fans like Smith, rumors have been circulating that some CSI spinoffs may be cut from CBS programming due  to confusion and redundancy. When asked to confirm these rumors, neither Zuiker nor Donahue seemed to understand the question.

“Trust us,” said Donahue. “Our only real competition is Law and Order. Or is it Criminal Minds? No, no it’s definitely Bones.”

Zuiker seemed to disagree, assuring our reporters that none of these shows exist and are merely mistakes by the ad team.